Exit, Stage Left

At various times during my children's scholastic careers, they would participate in musical productions that included a dog. And at various times, they would volunteer one of ours. Luckily, no one made the cut because I don't think any of our dogs, past or present, would have the patience to be a "stage" dog. Trust me. It is not as easy as it looks.

I know this because who do you think had the job of "babysitting" the dog who did get the role in a middle school production of Oliver? Of course, none other that yours truly, who got a glimpse into the life of a canine thespian.

First of all, the entire time that the dog is not on the stage, he or she needs to be in a crate, and not always a crate safely sheltered from all other distractions. It might be a crate in an empty office or then again it might be a crate in the middle of a room of other "off-stage" actors, in this case, kids, who are not exactly quiet or disinterested in the dog.

In the case of my charge, she was a model dog. Nothing fazed her and she was just as happy in her crate as on the stage--which she was for all of three minutes in one scene towards the end of the play. At that point, she would have to walk on a leash, pay attention to her "owner" and look adorable, all of which this dog did beautifully and without much rehearsal. As I said before, model dog even though she was not the breed specified in the play. In a wise move, the director went with substance over style.

I was reminded of all of this by a recent article in the Philadelphia Inquirer about canine auditions for a local production of Oliver. In this case, the dog had to look and act the part of a bulldog.

About a dozen dogs tried out for the part, some of whom had prior acting experience (commercials) and some of whom had show credentials. Ultimately two dogs will be chosen and no word yet on who got the part.

I'm wondering if I should volunteer my talents as a dog-minder. After all, I have experience....